a pregnant light

  • May 2025 Music Recs

    Music recommendations while riding the waves

    Photographing Poison the Well, Glassjaw, Better Lovers, and Teenage Wrist in April lit something inside me. It was the music and musicians I loved and admired as a kid combined with meeting people who meet me and me them where we’re at.

    There are reminders that suffering is not the only way—and that what music releases is beautiful.

    The concert was at the end of the month, April 28, and in May I got lost in shows. Seven shows to be exact.

    (In between all of this I went to and photographed at Raleigh DIY Punk Rock Flea Market and Artsplosure.)

    Burnout had already begun in other areas of my life and without realizing it I had pushed myself further in May. So “it”—the further depths of perpetual global burnout due to the state of the world—reached this aspect of my life as well.

    And at this point, almost halfway through the year, I learned that my love of (post-)hardcore had cemented into being a theme of my (2025) Music Year.

    I had been on this journey, and April had been filled with a mixology of meaning in all directions artistically—intrinsically psychological and life changing, which of course is internal/eternal—that when May came, I wanted to ride that wavelength.

    seemingly strips down past vulnerability and goes straight to a pure self.

    And so I did. And I continued to learn. I learned more about my own voice. I have talked (and talked and talked) so much about speaking up, and still I held back for so long especially when it came to the people I let into my life—always the people who I shouldn’t give my time to, and yet…

    I know what it feels like to be at a point where there seems to be no way out from those who have hurt us the most.

    So I gave my time to what I love and am passionate about. I rode the waves. I cracked open. I let in experiences I never thought I would have and it was completely worth it.

    May 2025 Music Recs

    Keep updated on recent Music Recs via my Instagram stories by following @marissastraw.

    Kayo Dot (and the music of Toby Driver) – Every Rock, Every Half-Truth Under Reason – “Oracle By Severed Head” (August 1, 2025)
    experimental avant-garde metal

    I am pretty excited for the new Kayo Dot / Toby Driver release. The single “Oracle By Severed Head” seemingly strips down past vulnerability and goes straight to a pure self. I can see a dance piece for this song, a movement within movement. Something classical and avant-garde.

    The rawness is not from being rubbed or scraped but from filtering through. Pure even when the message may not be because it is coming from yet another place. Inhuman and yet (again) pure—on another level—not quite emotion. I feel laid bare in listening. (Written 2025 May 10)

    Boru – SELF-DEALER – “Cosmic Blood” (September 11, 2024)
    atmospheric avant-garde post-metal

    I somehow missed this jolting record. SELF-DEALER is the second full-length by Boru and came out 2024 September 11. It is beautifully dark avant-garde post-metal.

    The opening is almost a duet with Départe. The constant rush to the heart…

    Is this why I have not made my top whatever number of 2024 albums? I jest and yet…

    This gorgeous shifting sand of sounds infiltrates all the spaces. I am beholden to it and am not burdened. (Written 2025 May 11)

    STOLEN GUN – DEMO 2025 – “eat the skull” (May 5, 2025)
    powerviolence grind/hardcore

    STOLEN GUN is powerviolence dialed in to post-apocalyptic present times. Short and not sweet. Transient and pertinent in the full soundscape that is grindcore. You can hear the history and movement forward.

    I love how more hard/grindcore bands have formed ‘supergroups.’ STOLEN GUN is made up of Vincent Bennett (The Acacia Strain), Brandon Albaugh (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Duncan Newey (No Cure, Bleak, Emaciated), and Danny Grant (Pure Bliss). They remind me a little bit of GUILT DISPENSER what with their short songs and cutting sound. (Written 2025 May 12-July 2)

    A Pregnant Light – “01000100 01000101 01010110 01001111 01010101 01010010 01000101 01000100” (May 9, 2025)
    experimental post-metal punk

    I want to give some more love to Damian Master. This is the second single released this year under A Pregnant Light, the first was “Heart-Shaped Stain” in February.

    I connect with this project self-described “TOO MUCH TO DIE” on Bandcamp and single description of “i hope this hurts”. Though I do not wish ill will on anyone, I know what it feels like to be at a point where there seems to be no way out from those who have hurt us the most. That feeling of trapped and bled and turning on the self where you feel you deserve the pain even.

    To suffer is living. There are reminders that suffering is not the only way—and that what music releases is beautiful.

    Damian Master confirmed only in part the beauty piece in a dm—that the muse for this song is someone he loves.

    A Pregnant Light is post-hardcore, gothic, sad, “purple” metal. (Written 2025 May 15)

    May 2025 Music Recs Playlist

    2025 May Music Recs YouTube Playlist

    Kayo Dot (and the music of Toby Driver) – Every Rock, Every Half-Truth Under Reason – “Oracle By Severed Head”
    Boru – SELF-DEALER – “Cosmic Blood”
    STOLEN GUN – DEMO 2025 – “eat the skull”
    A Pregnant Light – “01000100 01000101 01010110 01001111 01010101 01010010 01000101 01000100

    If you enjoyed getting these music recs…

  • written 2024 mar 30

    Cult Leader

    “Learn to Love It”

    New Cult Leader single “Learn To Love It” is out (yesterday, 29 March 2024). Time for the catharsis to begin again. Seriously, their music has broken open the little bits I didn’t think could. An almost spiritual/meditative experience every time. Cult Leader is brutal and raw cathartic hardcore.

    written 2024 mar 28

    Grimdor

    A Long-Expected Party

    “Goodbye My Dear Bilbo”

    I…A sliver of my childhood lives with me in this music, right now. Grimdor continually puts out heartfelt Tolkien-inspired music. A Long-Expected Party is the newest album and keeps with the dark/deep euphoric synth sound.

    written 2024 mar 22

    A Pregnant Light

    You Know Who

    “Inverted Pyramid”

    Ah, thank you, Bandcamp for this album “send” to my feed. You Know Who (15 March 2024) is a compilation of A Pregnant Light‘s music and it’s the first I’ve heard of his work. This gazecore/crustgaze (whatever fun genre to call this project) is full of emotional and raw tracks that are (a theme of my likes too) some metal equivalent of crusty dark pop that brought my dark mood up the other day and now I’ll keep coming back to it. Please keep making more.

    written 2024 mar 22

    Russian Circles

    Guidance

    “Afrika”

    New [photography] post and music rave/rec all in one, let’s go! I first saw Russian Circles in 2016 and have been listening since 2006. They played in the dark the two times I saw them until this [third] show in November 2022. It is beautiful to see how happy and into the music they are as they’re playing, lights on. Their discography is soft yet dark, harsh yet stunning. I absolutely love going to shows, you can feel the music more, literally reverberating, and with Russian Circles the feeling is the same for me no matter where I listen. Utterly enchanting.

    written 2024 mar 20

    The Sawtooth Grin

    Jabberwocky

    “A Cloud A Cauldron A Colony”

    I didn’t know this was what I needed. “It’s the re-discovery and re-classification of a missing link. One that proved too unwieldy for our younger selves to unearth.“—The Sawtooth Grin excerpt description about their new album, Jabberwocky (15 March 2024). I started listening to The Sawtooth Grin when their first album came out (I was around 11 years old 🐥) and it feels a step beyond nostalgic, they hit the spot in all of their math-grind glory. For me, their lyrics and musical tone line up with what I have been reckoning with as an adult…to face the darkness that was childhood with a new understanding and care for the child that never was/never got to be. Some members of The Sawtooth Grin are/were also in The Dillinger Escape Plan, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, Palm Ghosts, Cloacal Kiss, and Black Table.

    written 2024 mar 18

    Weston Super Maim

    See You Tomorrow Baby

    “See You Tomorrow Baby”

    It’s a bird, it’s a plane, nah it’s Weston Super Maim. This one is for my wonky metal lovers—they’re compared to Meshuggah and Car Bomb in reviews but I think you also gotta include cult 80s or 90s movie club scenes to get the full picture. See You Tomorrow Baby features tracks with members of Frontierer, Soreption, and Blindfolded and Led to the Woods.

    written 2024 mar 18

    Birds in Row & Coilguns

    You and I in the Gap

    “The Blessing”

    Thanks to this combo EP You and I in the Gap that came out 02 February 2024, I got introduced to noise rock band Coilguns after having heard about Birds in Row. These three tracks made over 7 days are raw yet glossy, and well done. I’ve been listening to it on repeat.

    written 2024 mar 18

    Recent Listens

    Bleak, KOLLAPS\E, Convulsing, Horseboy, Church Chords, Omerod, Sorcerer, Griffon, Grails

    written 2024 mar 16

    Sorcerer

    DEVOTION

    “Devotion”

    This little one [babycat] is judging me for not sharing music for the past little bit. I gave Sorcerer a listen as soon as their new single Devotion came out on 2024 March 08. They are a French hardcore band and they provide some real nice breakdowns that are just nonstop. Check out their small album, Strangers, with Pencey Sloe that mixes Sorcerer’s hardcore sound with Pencey Sloe’s shoegaze that’ll make you want more—reminiscent of Bloodmoon: I, the Converge collaboration with Chelsea Wolfe.

    written 2024 mar 13

    Bleak

    My Body Is Not Where I Belong

    “Vile Blades”

    So, I just heard of this band called Bleak. They came out with an album two days ago called My Body Is Not Where I Belong and they sound like a cross between the Queen of the Damned soundtrack and the band Movements and I love it. It just makes me so happy. Thank you, Bleak for being so relatable that your sad, energetic hardcore music “be stills” my dissociative heart.

    written 2024 mar 08

    Omnerod

    The Amensal Rise

    “Spore”

    Not sure how more people haven’t heard of Omnerod. They’re a prog death metal band with comparisons to Devin Townsend and with hints of bands like Between The Buried and Me, Leprous, and even Incubus circa Fungus Amongus (with Omnerod’s song “Spore” especially). They’re so mood boosting and full of energy. It would be an incredible experience to see them live.

    written 2024 Mar 07

    Cult Leader

    A Patient Man

    “to: Achlys”

    I must be feeling some type of way to be listening to this album by Cult Leader, especially before going to a show. Never fails to make me cry (see album cover). Some of the rawest music I’ve heard, and in progressive hardcore parcel that seems to made for me. I would love to go to one of their shows some day and photograph them.

    written 2024 Mar 01

    Idles

    CRAWLER

    “MTT 420 RR”

    I ordered IDLES‘s CRAWLER only a few days ago along with their hug shirt and it came in on my birthday🥺. My friend and I message their lyrics back and forth to each other. I love them. Their dancing. Their rawness. A gift for every day. They feel like a beautiful cathartic cry.

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